Today’s letter – A Long Shot

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger –

I am writing to you to ask you to sign AB 43, even though I know you never will.

I need to know that you have heard from people like me who are directly afflicted; that emboldening the Opponents of Equality will cause more government-sanctioned discrimination; and that showing a lack of leadership on this issue will look pretty silly when California eventually ends domestic apartheid. Your domestic apartheid.

I fully understand that you want to “let the people decide,” and you will undoubtedly veto this bill. I just want you to know who you’re throwing under the bus when you do.


Today’s letter – EDD Form DE1-HW

In order to (legally) employ a household worker (a nanny) we have to complete a California form DE1-HW Registration Form for Employers of Household Workers.

Section “E” of the form asks for the “Type of Organization” and offers the options of [_] INDIVIDUAL [_] HUS/WIFE [_] CORPORATION [_] OTHER ________.

When I called them (916) 654-7041 they said that I should check [_] OTHER and enter Domestic Partnership and they would enter it as HUS/WIFE anyway. I said no, I want a new form.

They said the form was last updated in October 2004 and the new forms are up-to-date. But the regular form DE 1 revision 72 from August 2006 has “Hus/Wife Co-ownership” which is even more offensive.

So here is my letter to the Governor for today:


Dear Governor Schwarzenegger,

I am attaching a communication that I have started with the California Employment Development Department asking for accommodation of my same-sex domestic partnership on the Registration Form for Employers of Household Workers form DE1-HW (attached). This is just one example of the scores of forms that offensively violate the constitutional ban on discrimination based on gender or sexual orientation. I need your help to make sure that the form gets fixed.

The form contains options for INDIVIDUAL, HUS/WIFE, CORPORATION and OTHER. Our household is not an OTHER; I do not feel comfortable revealing my sexual orientation on this form; and if I mark INDIVDUAL or HUS/WIFE, I cannot honestly sign the form.

I wish you would sign AB 43 into law so I can get married and we don’t have to play these games with forms. Until we can get married, I would like to ask you to ask the EDD to change these forms to conform with the Constitution and my need to have my government respect my basic dignity.

Thank you for your help,

I enclosed my note to the EDD:

RE: Form DE1-HW

I have attached a form DE1-HW obtained from the Internet. Section (E) provides options for several organization types including HUS/WIFE.

As an individual in a domestic partnership who is legally prevented from being “HUS/WIFE,” this form does not accommodate me as intended by constitutional prohibitions on discrimination based on gender or sexual orientation.

I don’t want to be a jerk about this, but marking [x] OTHER isn’t acceptable. The purpose of this form is not to reveal my sexual orientation but to describe the nature of the entity that is registering, which should be (by hard-won State law) indistinguishable to that of a legally married couple.

I would like to have a new form with the offensive language removed and replaced by your choice of either “SPOUSES” or “MARRIED/DOMESTIC PARTNERS.”

My intent isn’t to make more work for you, but just to make this form less offensive to me and my community. I would be happy to help you adjust it appropriately; please let me know how you would like to proceed.

Thank you,

Getting a meeting with the Governor

I’ve been trying to get a meeting with the Governor the next time he’s in the neighborhood. I figure that if he meets the kids, he’ll have a harder time vetoing our marriage. In addition to writing to him at the Sacramento office, I’ve been trying to grease things with my Senator. (I tried my Assemblymember but his rep said “there are 80 members and [he] can’t do that.”) I’ll let you know how that goes.